


Chapters

by MountainDont



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Non-Explicit Sex, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-13 23:41:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7143179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MountainDont/pseuds/MountainDont
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Nora took away all the mentats and costumes and purpose, John Hancock became a puzzle of self-loathing and a determination to end the misery that he felt he brought on others.</p><p>It was just a matter of them being where they needed to be at that point in time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chapters

**Author's Note:**

> Taking a break from writing my other stuff so I can flesh out my self-loathing headcanons for Hancock, and how Nora fixes them all. Because Nora's a bad bitch and I adore her. And Hancock.

John Hancock was an enigma wrapped up in an enigma, and Nora knew she'd never get to the end of him. His mind had been a crooked place for thieves and traitors that he brutally murdered and cast off the island of everything that was _him_ , but in the attempt at preserving his own essence, he began slowly killing himself. The chems helped him survive and kept him alive, but he had gotten to a point where sobriety was just a word without meaning. After Nora took away all the mentats and costumes and purpose, John Hancock became a puzzle of self-loathing and a determination to end the misery that he felt he brought on others.

The Commonwealth would never be safe, and he blamed himself for not loading his gun quicker.

The Commonwealth would never be clean, and he blamed himself for using water and not bleach.

The Commonwealth would never be happy, and he blamed himself for taking jet instead of Prozac.

Nights like these, Hancock became particularly quiet. He stared off into the green haze of the radiation storm as Nora tossed and turned in the bed they'd found in the abandoned diner. It was a small twin-size, but it was still large enough to fit both of them. Nora was not a large woman, and Hancock was not a large man. They could have made it work, but the ghoul mayor insisted on letting her have it to herself. Something about chivalry and a lady needing her privacy. Nora had snorted and mentioned that ladies didn't shoot raiders in the head, to which his response had been a grunt and a shrug.

Hancock was not acting himself, and it was not the first time it had happened.

Nora propped herself up on her elbows. Thunder rumbled outside. Hancock looked over his shoulder at her. "Can't sleep?" he asked her. "Storm'll be over soon."

"What's going on, Hancock? _Really_ going on?"

The mayor turned his gaze back to the window, arms folding over his chest as the green clouds rolled over them. The fog outside intensified. She watched a radiation chill go down his spine and wondered if all ghouls reacted like that during rad storms.

Nora climbed out of her bed and ran her fingers through her unruly hair. "You're ignoring me now," she said.

"I'm ignoring the question. There's a difference," he replied. "Don't mean to get short with you. You're just readin' too much into it."

"Hardly," Nora said. "Talk to me. Maybe I can help."

Thunder boomed. Nora jumped at the sudden noise. It rang in her ears like gunfire. She hated living here. It was like some alternate universe. Like she was in a dream, and if Shaun was her wardrobe, was Hancock the lion or the witch? "That settlement Preston had you check out," Hancock finally said, "we got there too late."

"It happens," Nora said. "If you try to save the entire Commonwealth, you eventually learn that you can't."

"That's bullshit. Work smart, not hard." He scoffed. "Listen to me. Fucked up, ain't it? Thinkin' we can take shortcuts at the expense of others."

"No. Maybe you're right. Maybe we're going about this the wrong way." Nora stood beside him, looking out into the storm. He didn't look at her. "But until we figure out the smart way, we do it the hard way. That's all we can afford."

"Bein' out here, I thought it was a good idea. Just brings me back to earlier times. Back when I had nothing. There's nothin' glamorous about not having a damn thing." She gazed at him, watching the exhaustion loom over him like a cyclops. "Fuckin' hubris got in the way. Thought I could do more out here. Maybe I should'a stayed in Goodneighbor."

"They had plenty going for them, Hancock."

"I was talkin' about me, not them."

"Are you sure?" Nora asked. "Because you're not that self-centered."

"If I weren't, I wouldn't be out here, thinking wanderin' around with you was the right choice. Like I had all the answers to save everyone." Hancock frowned. "Like I was some kinda goddamn hero." He rested his hands against the windowsill, leaning into the pain. He wiped it clean so he could see the storm outside and all Nora saw was metaphor. She dusted her fingers against his, let them crawl up his arm before massaging his shoulder. Pressure against the tension and the battle began. Hancock's body waved the white towel; she always won eventually. "The fuck am I doin' out here, Nora?" he asked her.

"More than everyone else," she said. "If you didn't, I'd have dropped your ass a long time ago." He chuckled. "I'm serious. I've got no time in my schedule for people who don't bust their asses trying to fix what's broken. We all get down and out about how much work there is, Hancock. But that's the thing -- it's work. It's a process until it's over. It didn't start with us and it damn well won't end with us, but we're a part of it now. And that's more than anyone could ever ask for."

"Your husband was a lucky man," Hancock said, still staring out the window.

Nora's hand eased off his shoulder, falling limply to her side. _Why would you say that?_ It was the question begging to be asked, but she couldn't bring herself to it. Of course Nate had been lucky, but so had she. At the same time ... "Luck had nothing to do with it," she said. "It was a matter of us being where we needed to be at that time. And that time is over for us, so here I am." She smiled at him, and he pretended not to notice. "I was trapped in a little ice box," she said. "I watched him die and there was nothing I could do about it. I beat myself up over it every single night."

"There was nothing you could do," Hancock replied, finally looking at her. "Ain't no use blaming yourself at that point, sister."

"My point exactly." She reached up again, smoothed out the arm of his coat before patting him affectionately on the arm. "Maybe if I were out of my pod, I could have done something, but I wasn't. We can't alter time and space. We're limited, but our limits don't define what we can do within our boundaries. Besides." It was Nora's turn to gaze out the window now. The storm raged harder than ever, lightning zooming across the sky like Zeus's AK-47. "I've mourned enough. I'm ready to make something of myself here. Move on to the next chapter of my life. Find my son. Settle down."

"Maybe with a new man," Hancock offered. Nora's smile softened, and she gazed off into the distance. "One good with kids."

Oh, why the hell not? "Are you good with kids, Hancock?" she asked.

The silence between them lingered. She turned to face him, caught his gaze. Caught the hopeful fear of rejection, almost hidden in the shadow of his hat. "I'd like for Shaun to grow up knowing what it's like to defend something," Nora continued. Hancock didn't even blink. "I'd like for him to know what freedom means. Equality. Lord knows it didn't exist back then, and it doesn't exist now." She shrugged. "But mothers come with a burden, I guess. A lot of men aren't into the whole woman with a kid thing."

Nora wanted to keep talking. Wanted to distract Hancock from whatever kind of self-pity he was feeling at that point in time, because she knew he was more than capable of it. But he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. She found herself thankful he'd read the message she sent exactly as it had been written.

Nora didn't know exactly when it happened, but at some point, Hancock had stopped kissing her to say something about how she deserved so much better than a ghoul. Halfway in a daze, she'd pulled him back, and she got lost in the passion. Somewhere in the maze, she found herself in paradise. Heaven had been real this whole time, but neglect had left the angels' wings decayed and almost useless. So Nora flew up to them, asked for wisdom, and they said: _In unity, the symbol of what we created becomes one._ Satisfied, she led Hancock back to the bed and let him shed her clothes before she fell onto her back.

He was surprisingly gentle at first. She whispered to him, about how she had always admired the way he so selflessly helped those who needed it. About how he'd found the things broken in her, about how he had repaired them only by sharing himself. Without Hancock, she'd be nothing. Yes, he was a ghoul. His body represented the things people feared the most: Necrosis, decay, _death_ or the defiance thereof. But she'd found beauty in what his particular brand of survival symbolized. Despite what Hancock said about himself, he was not running.

He was embracing the next chapter of his life.


End file.
